Operation: Pain in My Side
by KeymaJade
Summary: In which Chloe is completely and utterly frustrated with the flirting and arguing and especially the sexual tension that goes on between our favorite pair.
1. Prologue

**Title:** Operation: Pain in My Side

**Author:** Hodgepodge

**Rating:** PG-13

**Category:** Comedy, Romance

**Characters:** Chloe, Lois/Clark , Martha, Lucy, Shelby

**Disclaimer: **sigh You know who they belong to

**Summary: **In which Chloe is completely and utterly frustrated with the flirting and arguing and especially the sexual tension that goes on between our favorite pair.

**A/N:** Basically it's supposed to just get a few laughs. I started it a while ago and decided to keep up with it after Hydro. I liked the Chloe I saw at the end of that episode. She's meant to be pretty far gone in this, being driven crazy by two people will do that to a person. This is a nine part story and I hope you enjoy it--let me know if you do! Reviews are the safest drug out there.

Special thanks to Liz for beta-ing this sucka!

* * *

**Operation: Pain in My Side**

* * *

A sigh.

A not-so-subtle glance.

Chloe's eye twitched.

She stared at Lois and Clark incredulously as they fought over the half-eaten tub of popcorn. They tossed flirting insults back and forth during the commercials before the previews of the movie, and Chloe didn't even bother to hide her sigh of frustration.

It wasn't that she enjoyed the commercials. She actually thought that whoever decided it would be a good idea to stick the damn things before previews should be shot… or perhaps something a little less brutal.

It wasn't even that the commercials bothered her so. It was them! Lois and Clark. Mr. and Mrs. We-should-jump-each-others-bones-before-we-drive-the-world-crazy. She could only be thankful for deciding not to sit in the middle. The pair were oblivious to the fact that the banter they so frequently engaged in was bound to drive someone (and by 'someone' Chloe believed herself to fit the category perfectly) to drink.

It was bad enough that there was all this unresolved sexual tension, a sphere of it actually, surrounding and following them wherever they went, but the fact that this sphere captured anyone and everything in its path was absolutely unacceptable! How was a person supposed to deal with all of the sexual innuendos, snarky remarks, sly glances, banter and the sighs when there was nothing said person could do to relieve the tension?

She wouldn't be surprised if she started frequenting bars more often just to become numb to the reality of their obliviousness.

It was annoying as Hell. If Hell, that is, could be classified as annoying. Chloe figured it would be a little annoying being in a really hot place all of the time but who really knew if Hell was hot? Perhaps it was just misunderstood…

"That movie looks great! We should all go and see that one too! You up for it, Cuz'?" Lois asked, tossing some more popcorn into her mouth and then batting Clark's hand away from the drink they bought to share. Their "shared" drink basically meant that Lois would drink most of it herself and then eat all of the ice, which Chloe read somewhere is the byproduct of sexual frustration, before making Clark go for a refill. It was almost a routine between them. Chloe assumed she was talking about the preview that had just ended, the one she had missed completely, but lately all she could think of was the two of them and how to fix it!

"I'd rather die first," Chloe muttered in response to her cousin's comment, not caring if Lois heard her or not—or Clark for that matter, with his super hearing.

"What?" Lois asked in the loudest whisper Chloe had ever heard.

"I said I'd rather die—"

"Would you two keep it down?" A voice commanded from a few rows back, and Chloe was only partially thankful for the interruption.

Clark and Chloe both cringed slightly and lowered themselves further into their seats, knowing what was to come next.

But two? 'You two?' He couldn't have said anything before when Lois and Clark were fighting over who got to hold the candy? They were just Red Vines and Goobers for goodness sake!

"Like you could even hear if you wanted, your chewing's so loud!" Lois hissed back and threw some popcorn at the man. Chloe wasn't even sure of his response, for she sunk down even further, but in cases like this, it was usually at least the finger. Lois opened her mouth to say something else, but before she got the opportunity, Clark's hand covered her lips, and for that Chloe could only be grateful. She really didn't feel like getting into a brawl at the movie theaters, and this guy was huge. Sure they had Clark, but it wasn't like he could use his powers in front of everyone. Unfortunately, her loyalty was to Lois, but the other guy just shrugged it off and moved a seat back.

She should have learned by now not to go to the movies with Lois and Clark. Spending nine dollars on a movie was ridiculous in the first place, but thinking she would be able to concentrate anywhere near them was just insane. She contemplated moving a few rows away, but Lois would only go after her, followed shortly by Clark. She resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to sit for two hours without any sort of release from those two.

_Maybe they sold Vicodin at the concession stands…_

That movie had been the start of her realization that it was either them or her. She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't seem to have the patience to be in their presence without at least 8 shots of vodka.

And Lois knew what 8 shots did to her.

They were both completely clueless of their behavior towards each other.

_"Of course I don't like Smallville like that Chloe, he's just a friend."_

Lois was probably the most unaware of her feelings. At least Clark would blush when she would insinuate before stuttering out _"Are you kidding me? I can't like Lois."_ Chloe wasn't a fool; it wasn't so much that he was worried about liking her, but rather, he was afraid of Lois's reaction to him liking her.

They were idiots.

She was sick of it.

It was time for her to take serious action.

* * *

_This is definitely a good idea, one of my best,_ Chloe thought to herself with a nod. She had asked Lois to go and grab some extra paper from the storage closet, knowing full well that the stacks of paper were too high for her to reach. She had placed them strategically so with a ladder, making sure that just the edge of the package was showing. After hearing a loud crash in the distance, Clark had taken off to see if Lois was okay.

Just as Chloe had predicted he would.

Right on time, the air conditioner turned on automatically; after all, she had programmed it to do so. She casually walked by and slammed the door closed, barely even glancing at Lois hanging by the fingers onto the highest shelf with Clark standing right under her, trying to get her to let go. If she hadn't been so frustrated, so dead bent on getting them to jump each other, she would have found the scene hilariously funny. She locked the door and made sure the "Do Not Enter" sign was still where she had placed it earlier.

And then she had walked away.

It took them less than 10 minutes to free themselves, and while she knew that Clark Kent was speedy in all things, she liked to think that he'd take his time where Lois was concerned (for his safety).

If she was going to do this right, her set-up for Clark and Lois to admit their feelings for one another (before she followed through on her plan to drink herself into a dumb stupor), then she really needed a better idea than locking them in the storage room of the Daily Planet. Chloe fumed darkly as she watched her victims stumble out of said storage room with looks of bewilderment.

"Hey Chlo, you'll _never_ guess what just happened," Lois began and shot a look at Clark.

"You got locked in the storage closet," Chloe stated dryly and turned to her computer so that they wouldn't notice her rolling her eyes and frowning in disappointment.

"Yeah. How'd you...?" Lois asked in slight amazement before Clark decided it was time to add to the conversation and cut her off.

"Not only did we get locked in but the spare key was missing! And the air conditioner automatically turned on--"

"And we just barely managed to get the door open with the supply of pencils!" Lois finished his sentence with a smug smile.

"Pencils?!" Chloe exclaimed, and the oblivious pair missed the glare that she shot towards the "stockman" on the other side of the room. She had warned him about stocking the shelves. The man, more of a boy really, noticed her snarl and hid behind Carl from the Sports section.

What she really needed was a great plan, and this great plan could really only be plotted if she studied her prey.

* * *

Ok, so that's the prologue of sorts. As I said above this story only has nine parts and it's complete so I will be posting the next part every day or so. Leave me a review! I love reviews!! 


	2. Observing the Prey

Hey! Thnaks to those who have reviewed! I really appreciate it. Here's the next part. Let me know what you think!

* * *

Phase 1: Observing the Prey

* * *

After two weeks of observing her prey, Chloe was slightly pleased with her findings. Not only did she understand the subjects more than she ever really wanted to, but now she was even more determined to complete her mission.

She also discovered that Lois was ridiculously aware of her surroundings. No matter what Chloe had tried to do to remain inconspicuous, Lois had some how always managed to spot her.

Now clad in her trench coat, sunglasses and a hat that would have given Bogart a run for his money, she was pretty certain that Lois or Clark wouldn't have a clue that they were being followed. Mostly certain, she amended and padded softly down the pasta and canned food aisle, peering through the shelves to watch the duo closely and record her findings in her tiny notebook.

Chloe rolled her eyes heavenward in a silent plea for help when she realized that they were fighting (flirting) once again, and it seemed to be about a brownie mix this time.

"But it's not on the list, Lois!"

"It should be," she replied simply, so sure of herself that she would win the battle at hand with that remark alone.

"But if we get that, then we'll also have to get eggs and oil and—"

"You mean you know how to make brownies?! You're hired, Smallville!" Lois exclaimed with a bright smile, dropping the box into their cart before starting down towards the next aisle. Lord only knows how she rationalized things like that. "Besides, I'm sure your mom has eggs and oil already."

"Lois," he drawled slightly, but she ignored him and made sure to add chocolate fudge to the cart when he wasn't looking.

"For one, they weren't on the list."

"Lois."

"And for another, you do live on a farm—eggs are pretty much a given."

"Lois, I'm not making brownies."

"—And brownies are the best when they're home made fresh and just out of the oven warm."

"Well—"

"Don't you think?"

"Yes Lois, but—"

"Great! Then we'll make them back at home!"

Clark tried to argue, and Chloe rushed to lean over a display of canned soup in order to hear and see them more clearly. She was just in time to see Lois smile and lean slightly into Clark when the display suddenly gave way, knocking the cans and herself to the floor.

"Shoot!" She mumbled with a groan of pain before grabbing her notebook and crawling her way into the next aisle over. She hadn't been spotted, that was a relief to be sure, and as she tried to catch her breath, she realized something.

Home.

Lois, who has moved around her entire life, had said "We'll make them at home," as in the Kent's farm. It was curious that Lois recognizes and admits that she has never felt more at home than when she is at the Kent's, than when she is with Clark.

This must be a good sign!

She scribbled this into her notebook and then struggled to get to her feet, oblivious to the stares of other shoppers.

"Chloe, what are you doing?"

She grimaced at the sound of her cousin's voice and turned just in time to see Lois shoot Clark a look of worried bewilderment. Chloe could tell that Lois was trying her hardest not to be judgmental but caught her eyeing the hat and trench coat critically.

"It's laundry day," Chloe was quick to defend her wardrobe and almost leapt at the detergent on the shelf conveniently placed to her right. She couldn't have planned it better—if she had originally planned to trip over the cans and give away her position to the enemy in the first place.

She hefted the liquid Shout with a triumphant smile. "I ran out!" she explained beamingly and left Clark and Lois standing there mouth agape while she went and paid for her cover. Clark watched as his friend began to walk away and moved his hand up to scratch his head before turning to Lois questioningly.

"Don't judge her."

Clark's mouth snapped closed before he could even voice his concerns. Lois nodded approvingly before she patted him on the chest and moved to grab some detergent for herself. As she was throwing it into the cart, she frowned when she noticed Chloe's head disappear around the corner quickly.

"That was a close one," Chloe voiced aloud, and the old lady in front of her in line nodded in agreement. She didn't notice and flipped open her notebook to review her findings of the past few weeks.

* * *

**Chloe's Findings:  
**

For the past few weeks I, Chloe Sullivan, have been observing Lois Lane and Clark Kent in order to get a better understanding of what exactly I am up against. Here's what I have found thus far.

**Physical Characteristics**

_Lois Lane:_

Female

Taller than every other female in Smallville

Dirty blonde some days, kind of brunette others

"Hazely" eyes

_Clark Kent:_

Male

Taller than most every other man in Smallville

Dark hair

Blue eyes

Way too good looking for her to be studying him for so long

**Behavior:**

Stubborn

Flirt constantly

Fight just as much

Kind of "touchy-feely" (which has pleased me immensely)

Laugh a lot

Are basically dating—they are going through the motions, just without the… benefits (this boggled my mind)

**Habitat:**

Usually the Kent household, but also frequent the apartments

Diet:

Restaurants (When Martha's away)

Junk food

T.V. Dinners

Anything Mrs. Kent makes (and thank God that Lois knows better than to cook)

Ho Hos

Too much chocolate for anyone to consume and still label it as a snack—where the heck does it all go? (Next field study)

Also, I have looked into the reasons for consuming chocolate: it's tasty and also acts as a substitute for sex (and I know Lois wasn't getting any of that—from the mouth of Lois Lane herself).

**Predators and Threats:**

Blondes

Brunettes

Red Heads… (Though I am pretty sure Lois has sworn off all three for the time being—Clark does have dark hair after all. And Clark is oblivious to all of the other females in the world)

**Did you know?**

They obviously have feelings for each other. It was easier to detect in Clark but she had caught staring at him strangely at least twice today when she thought no one was watching. It was a look of confusion, a look of curiosity with the tiniest trace of fear. Lois knew she was feeling something for one Clark Kent she just didn't know what to do about it.

Chloe decided to give them a shove in the right direction and closed her notebook with a slam to pay for the detergent.

But she had to be careful. One wrong move, and she could make the situation worse.

She needed help.

She had kept to herself long enough, trying to get them to admit their feelings for one another (carrying the burden alone) for far too long. It was time to let go of her pride and admit that Lois and Clark were more stubborn than she is and that she needed help. In more ways than one, for if she didn't take care of this pain in her side that is Lois and Clark or make it a habit to take a couple shots in order to stand being in their company, she would go crazy.

As she exited the grocery store, she knew exactly who she needed.

* * *

Let me know what you think!...please 


	3. Reinforcements

Here's the next part. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far

* * *

Phase 2: **Reinforcements**

* * *

"Over here, Lucy!" Chloe called out as she shrugged out of her trench coat and casually tossed her hat to the table. The young woman, Lois's sister, turned to look in the direction in which she was being summoned and shot Chloe a smile. It quickly turned quizzical as she saw Chloe's discarded outfit, but she took a seat opposite her none the less. 

"What's with the costume?"

"It's all part of the plan," Chloe answered seriously and pushed the articles of clothing under the booth as she noticed Martha Kent step into The Talon.

"The plan?"

"I'll explain in a second, Shelby couldn't make it—"

"As in the Kent's dog, that Shelby?"

"—and my other informant is finally here."

Lucy rolled her eyes and looked on in slight shock as Chloe started waving her arms widely to get the older woman's attention. Martha looked as if she were debating whether or not to flee, but she finally decided that she wanted to hear what Chloe had to say.

"I received your notes," Martha gingerly sat next to Lucy and took said notes from her purse. "Were ten notes placed strategically around my kitchen really necessary?"

"Yes. I had to be sure you would come."

"Don't informants usually volunteer?" Lucy asked with a smirk as she looked over the notes Martha had lain on the table. They were all basically the same: 'Meet at the Talon at 2:00 P.M.'

The word order was changed a bit, and some even looked to be in code. Lucy didn't even want to ask why Chloe had felt it necessary to write the note in numbers instead of words, but she couldn't help but wonder how Martha had cracked the code.

"It's the numbers of the alphabet: one is A, two is B, three—C," the older woman stated casually, but Lucy caught the annoyance lingering underneath. It had probably taken a while to figure out and Lucy figured that by the looks of it, it was probably the first one she had found.

"We've got to get Lois and Clark to realize and admit that they have feelings for each other or I'm going to become an alcoholic!" Chloe finally exclaimed after a moment of tense silence.

"Do you even drink?" Lucy asked furrowing her brow in contemplation and completely missing the point. Martha, God bless her soul, got straight to the matter at hand.

"I'm in."

What had been annoyance in her tone before was now replaced by intrigue and frustration of her own. Chloe decided that she wasn't the only one being driven crazy by the duo.

"Me too, I was just curious about your drinking habits," Lucy said with a shrug, not wanting to be left out.

Chloe decided that her little cousin hadn't been around Lois and Clark for more than ten minutes or she would be just as determined for O:PIMS to work.

"I've spent the last two weeks observing them and have developed a twitch in my eye that won't go away because of it! I've tried locking them in a storage closet at the Daily Planet, but nothing came out of it because Fred the Stupid Socking Boy forgot to take out the pencils, and they escaped!"

"Pencils?" Martha asked, leaning forward interested as to how the pencils were so crucial.

"A twitch in your eye?" Lucy asked at the same time and leaned forward to stare.

"Yes, and the left," Chloe informed them primly and sighed resignedly. She handed each of them a packet marked as "**CONFIDENTIAL**"—a bit obvious, but there was no talking to Chloe reasonably at the moment. When they both moved to open said confidential envelope, Chloe slapped a hand down onto the table, halting their movements.

"Not here! It's an outline of my observations and what I have tried — and failed — to accomplish thus far. I've highlighted what I want you two to begin working on. Lucy, you're pink, and Martha's yellow," she began, ignoring Lucy's happy smile at the color chosen for her. "Read over your instructions and I want you to come up with some ideas of your own and meet me here again at 8 p.m."

Lucy tentatively raised her hand, and Chloe narrowed her eyes before nodding slightly for her to go on. "Say, hypothetically, that a person has plans for tonight and can't make the meeting—hypothetically," she rushes to add again as Chloe's glare intensified and the twitch started up again.

"Cancel them. This is a matter of life and death here!"

"Life and death?" Martha asked teasingly as they put their information packets away.

"Yes! Either they finally get together or I kill them and then frequent many bars for the rest of my life!"

"Er... ok," Lucy mumbled. "I'll cancel my hypothetical plans." She was sure her cousin had finally snapped.

"Good."

They watched in dismay and amusement as Chloe suddenly held a menu up to cover her face.

"What are you doing?"

"Quick! Lois just walked through the door and she hasn't seen us yet!" Chloe whispered urgently in response and grinned when they both quickly complied with little more then a shrug. Chloe leaned a little bit over to the side to peer out at her cousin from the corner of her eye. Lois quickly ordered a coffee and then turned to scan the room indifferently before focusing on the door she had just entered from as if waiting for someone.

Chloe groaned slightly, because if Clark came through that door right now and they continued with their flirting and never following through, she was going to have to jam the closest sharp object into her leg in order to form a happy distraction.

She let her head drop to the table with a thud as she heard Lois call her name.

Maybe it wasn't too late to hide.

"Chloe! Chloe, I saw you, what the hell are you doing?" Lois said, a little irritated, and Chloe lowered the menu in defeat.

"Why are you acting so weird?" Lois continued with a shake of her head, proceeding to list all of her facts that proved Chloe was acting so. "First, the movies and then the Planet—not to mention the grocery store—and your trench coat! What an outfit, Chlo! What is going on with you?"

_Because it's for the greater good—you'll be happily in love and I won't be driven to drink,_ she wanted to admit and only wished it was that easy.

"Chlo?" Lois asked again when she hadn't gotten a response after a little while. Chloe just blinked up at her as she was forced from her pleasant daydream of a world free of Lois and Clark's sexual tension. She grumbled slightly as Lois plopped down in the seat next to her. Martha and Lucy realized at the same moment that they were still holding up the menus for cover and lowered them sheepishly causing Lois to gape at them.

"Is your weirdness contagious?" Lois finally managed to accuse sarcastically, narrowing her eyes when all three of them nodded their heads seriously.

"Have you guys seen Smallville?" she asked to change the subject, no longer wanting to know what was going on with them. She then watched her cousin's eyes in fascination. "Hey Chloe, you sure you're ok? Your eye is kind of... well, twitching."

"Yeah I'm fine," Chloe bit out and let her head once again hit table as a familiar figure walked into The Talon.

"Clark!" Lois called out as she zeroed in on him almost instantaneously. He sent them all a curious smile and headed over to their booth.

"What's everyone doing?" He squeezed himself onto the seat beside Lois, squishing Chloe into the wall.

"Plotting," Lucy answered truthfully as she looked sympathetically over at Chloe. She hadn't realized how bad her cousin had it. He raised a brow and looked to Lois for clarification, but she raised her hands non committal. "I have done no plotting what-so-ever, but I might start if these three keep acting so strange—Look at Chloe's left eye!" She ordered, and Clark leaned over her to take a peek.

"Was that a twitch?"

"Yes!"

"'Twitching eyes happen, guys... it's not that big of a deal," Lucy pointed out.

Lois didn't reply but decided to drop the topic for the moment. There were more important things to consider.

"So what are you guys plotting?" She asked instead—intrigued—and leaned her elbows on the table to rest her chin onto her palms.

_Your marriage_, Chloe thought but remained silent. That would just destroy all of the work and the effort she had done so far. If she mentioned anything to them about "feelings", they (mainly Lois) would run in the opposite direction and avoid each other for weeks just to prove her wrong. That would have to serve as a back up plan if O:PIMS failed. They would be miserable and not admit it, but at least they wouldn't be flirting in her vicinity.

It had to work.

She eyed her fork warily, and just as she was contemplating how sharp the edges were, Lois snatched it up and began to attack the salad Clark brought with him. He made no move to stop her. Lucy and Martha watched on as she pushed the olives over to his side and he made sure she was closer to the tomatoes. Not that Clark didn't like the tomatoes, Martha observed, but he knew that she loved them.

And Lois and Clark were oblivious to all.

"So did you bring them?"

"Does it look like I brought anything, Lois?" Clark retorted and grunted slightly when she elbowed him.

"It looks like you brought salad," she said smartly. "So where's dessert?"

Clark grinned and kept silent causing Lois to glare.

"If you want brownies, you'll have to make them yourself," he finally explained.

_Did Clark have a death wish?_

"You're joking, right?" Lucy asked skeptically, knowing first hand that if she wanted a meal, she shouldn't count on her older sister to provide an edible one... unless it was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That one might even be a little risky.

"If I would have known you were going to be dumb, I would have gotten the already-made box," Lois explained with a frown and a steel glint in her eye as she pushed him out of the booth so she could leave.

"I'll help you," Clark reassured, but all four women didn't look even slightly at ease. "We'll go make the brownies right now," he stated, trying to appease Lois. Surprisingly, it worked, and Lois took his arm to lead him out the front doors. Chloe figured her cousin had already thought of a way out of actually doing the cooking. She wouldn't have given in as easily if she hadn't.

Chloe decided she'd have to see how that goes.

But by the time she talked Lucy and Martha out of coming with her, it was too late. By the time she arrived at the farm, she saw Lois leaving in a hurry.

"What's up Lo?" she called out when she realized that her ever-observant cousin didn't even notice her pull up. As she got out she watched as Lois's brisk stride halted, and she glanced over her shoulder surprised.

"What?" she asked and nervously crossed her arms.

"Are you ok?" Chloe asked, actually concerned.

"Why wouldn't I be ok? I just realized that I need to go because... well because I have someplace to be," Lois forced out quickly and looked slightly bewildered and frustrated with herself or someone else, Chloe wasn't sure.

_What the heck happened in fifteen minutes?_

"Right. The place. I guess you better hurry up Lo," Chloe said dryly, giving her a break. Lois didn't even notice and nodded before quickly fleeing the scene.

"Lois?" Clark called out from the doorway and frowned as she peeled out, leaving Chloe behind grumbling in a cloud of dirt.

"Where'd she go?" he asked quickly.

"She had to be someplace," Chloe answered quickly, coughing to clear the dust from her lungs.

"Oh."

"What the heck happened, Clark?"

"I'm not all that sure," he answered honestly and allowed his shoulders to slump slightly before he visibly straightened and set his chin. "I'll talk to you later."

And then he was gone.

And Chloe was once again left in a dust cloud coughing, more confused than ever.

Damn.

* * *

Leave me a review! Even if it's a "I'm just reading your story because I'm bored out of my mind so keep up the work" ...I don't mind... 

Ps A big thanks to Liz for helping me out


	4. The Lake and Brooke

Phase 3: **The Lake... and Brooke.**

* * *

"So how did you convince Lois to help out?" Chloe asked conversationally as she watched Lois attempt to figure out how to reload the cotton candy machine. Lois squinted slightly at the back of the sugar carton before shrugging and pouring it in very hesitantly. Clark stopped what he was doing, turned to her and then did a double-take when he noticed what she was doing. 

He laughed out loud, but Lois was so focused on the task at hand that she barely noticed when he stepped up behind her to move her closer to the machine. With a raised brow, he firmly pushed a finger onto the sugar container to force her to dump more in. Surprisingly, Lois only turned to glare at him as she allowed him to stay in his position from the back of her and empty the carton.

Apparently they were talking again and whatever had happened at the farm was just another stupid fight.

"This is great!" Chloe continued as she turned to Martha, awaiting her answer from her earlier question. Being just as focused on Clark and Lois, Martha snapped out of her trance and smiled back at Chloe.

"It was Lucy's idea, and I just asked Clark to talk to her about it," Martha explained with a little shrug as Lucy approached them with a smug grin. They all turned once again to watch as Lois impatiently held out a messy stick of cotton candy for a little boy to take.

"She really has no idea what she's doing," Lucy mused, letting out a little laugh when the little boy snatched the stick from her and sprinted towards the lake. "Don't chase him, Lo'," she muttered and watched her sister debate silently with herself whether or not she should do just that. Clark saved the boy's life by casually sticking a piece of the cotton candy to her cheek, causing her to lunge at him instead. He laughed and moved out of her grasp with a spin. Unbelievably, Lois laughed in return and snatched the sugary snack away before moving to stand closer to him.

"This is your plan?" Chloe asked very impressed. So far the day was going great. Her mission would be accomplished in less then an hour if they keep this up and she wouldn't need to resort to drowning herself in liquor.

"Nope."

"It isn't?" Martha asked in astonishment, because really it was working out so well. She might as well take credit for it.

"Not all of it."

"So what's the rest of it?" Chloe asked, intrigued but also slightly nervous.

"Brooke."

"Hate to break it to you, Lucy, but we're at a _lake_," Chloe responded dryly causing her cousin to roll her eyes.

"No... not _a _brook. I was referring to _her_," she pointed behind them. As one, Chloe and Martha turned around. "_That_, ladies, is Brooke," she reiterated smugly towards the blonde in a bikini.

"She's all leg!"

"Exactly!"

"And heading for Clark," Martha pointed out with a worried look.

"Perfectly planned."

"You sent a hot blonde after Clark!? _That's _your plan?" Chloe asked incredulously with a slow frown.

"Yeah," Lucy replied, sounding slightly unsure of herself.

"This is why it's important to stay for the _entire _informant meeting! That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard!"

"Chloe," Martha cut in, trying to intervene before Chloe tried to kill Lucy. It was a definite possibility with the fierce glare she was sporting.

"Is she at least stupid?"

"What? No."

"Good grief, woman. What if he likes the girl? We'll be screwed! I should just buy a flask and head for the bars right now to put me out of my misery before things get worse…"

"He likes Lois!" Lucy stated firmly halting Chloe's tirade.

"Well, what if she decides she likes him and sticks around?"

"She won't. For your information she's actually happily married to that Brad Pitt look alike about 20 yards away. I told them about our problem and we decided that a little jealousy was in order. At first we were going send him on over first, but it's not as fun to see Clark jealous."

"What?" Martha questioned with a little laugh.

"He's a brooder, as Lois told me, and brooders just keep to themselves."

"Well then," Chloe began, as the other two breathed a sigh of relief when they saw the anger drain out of her—mostly. "I still don't see why we even need her, they were doing so well."

"They've been flirting like that for months now."

"You haven't even been here that long, but I know."

"Then just watch and enjoy."

It was like they were starting a movie in the middle: they only had an idea of who the characters were, but had no idea what was going on. They could only guess why Lois's glare was so intense, or why Clark was leaning half into her away from Brooke, almost in fear. Lois stiffly offered out a stick of cotton candy, but the blonde refused to take it. All three girls stepped forward to listen in.

"It's not good for the figure, you know," the blonde stated, casually trailed a finger down Clark's arm.

_Uh oh._

"I'll give you something _else _that's not good for the figure," Lois muttered loudly. Brooke just stared, unsure of how to react at first before throwing her head back in laughter. Lois first looked at the blonde as if she was crazy but sported a fuming as Brooke turned towards Clark once again and asked for his phone number. He only stuttered, and Lois rolled her eyes, deciding to help the guy out.

"867-5309."

"Thanks doll."

"But—"

"Not a problem," Lois cut him off before he could mention that the number was from a song and not his real number. He understood the look she shot him and nodded in thanks.

When the "bimbo" tried to take Clark's arm to lead him away from the booth — and away from Lois — Chloe recieved a look from her cousin. She knew that look, and almost stepped forward to prevent what was going to happen next.

Almost.

Lucy obviously didn't know her sister very well at all. Both Chloe and Martha had expected the anger, as well as what happened next. Only the people close to Lois and Clark understood their situation: even though they skirted around each other, they were aware of their own feelings. And _no one_ poached on Lois's territory. She gave Clark a firm shove from behind, causing him to trip over his own feet and fall onto Brooke, who, in turn, fell into the line of customers that had been waiting impatiently behind her.

Lois stood over the groaning dog pile of people victoriously and then, as if motioned forward by her conscience alone, she moved forward to help Clark up, for it really wasn't the poor guys fault. She then held out a hand to Brooke, who accepted it almost immediately, if not warily. Lois cringed slightly at the shiner already showing on the other woman's face; she must have been elbowed by someone somewhere along the way. Lois contemplated apologizing, just as Chloe, Martha, and Lucy rushed towards them.

"Just go for it," Brooke told Lois cryptically with a smile. Leaving Lois speechless, the blonde spun around to head in the direction of a worried blonde man across the way.

"What?" Clark asked, rubbing at the back of his neck. Chloe stared off in the same direction as Lois, watching the man casually toss an arm around Brooke's shoulder as they walked off together. Lois's brow furrowed slightly before she gave a disbelieving smirk and turned to look up at Clark.

"Come on," she stated, pulling at his arm, and he allowed her to lead him back to the booth a few feet away. "Who's next?" she asked happily, as Clark took orders from her and began to gather the candy while she took money.

Chloe just stared in astonishment as everyone moved back into place with nothing more than a little grumble, and the flirting and bantering started once again as Lois and Clark continued to work.

"Where are you going?" Lucy called out to her cousin a little hesitantly.

"To the closest bar," Chloe proclaimed as she stomped off, and Martha followed after her with a worried frown. Chloe grumbled when she realized she wouldn't be able to numb the pain of an operation failed. She spun around to face Martha. "Alright... Lucy has failed us. So now it's _your _turn to come up with something. And it had better be good, or I'm done for."

Martha winced because she believed it. The eye twitch alone was enough to drive _anybody _crazy.

* * *

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Thanks Liz!


	5. Good Boy

Here's the next part! Let me know what you think and leave me a review!

* * *

Phase 4: Good Boy

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"I really don't know what to do," Chloe sighed dramatically, stuffing another spoonful of Lucky Charms into her mouth. "Nothing has worked so far, and Martha Kent is avoiding me." 

The older woman was sneaky, that's for sure. No matter how unexpectedly Chloe visited the Kent farm, Martha was always away or at least, always in hiding. This time, however, Chloe wasn't about to give up so easily. She knew the woman _had _to be around, because Clark had told Chloe that she would be.

Also, her car was in the driveway.

"It's not like she can run wherever she wants," she mused aloud, stretching her legs out before her on the porch.

She would wait, even if it took hours.

"Do _you_ have any bright ideas? I know we decided that you would be my inside man and be the last resort, but it looks like we're going to need you to step up," Chloe decided, reaching over to pat her companion on the head.

Shelby looked up at her with solemn eyes and gave her hand a little lick. He was obviously just as distraught as she was about this whole situation.

"Tell me about it," she muttered at Shleby's low bark. "If only I could find a better plan of action. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Well, first off, you're talking to the dog," Lois stated dryly from behind her, coming from inside the house.

"Everyone does it," Chloe answered back, not missing a beat. "When did you get here?"

"Just now," Lois said, eyeing her cousin and reaching down to scratch the tail-wagging canine before her. "I was on a run and came through the back."

"Oh."

"Are you eating my cereal?" Lois accused, narrowing her eyes and peering into the bowl, half-full of soggy gray blobs and stray colored marshmallows.

"_Your _cereal?"

"Yeah,_my _Lucky Charms. Mrs. Kent has Clark buy me a box for when I stay the night," Lois clarified, sitting down next to her cousin. She snatched the bowl away from Chloe and took a bite with a contented hum.

"Stay the night?" Chloe asked, not caring that Lois just stole the only food she'd allowed herself all day. This conversation, or where it was headed, was far more important.

"Yeah."

Chloe waited for her to expand on that, but Lois continued to eat around the marshmallows, staring at the bowl intently.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean 'what do I mean'?" Lois asked bewildered and raised the bowl to her lips to drink the milk from it.

"Since when do you stay the night?"

"Whenever it's too late to drive home," Lois clarified nonchalantly and began to try and pile all of the marshmallows onto her spoon. Chloe watched as she managed to do so and happily spoon them into her mouth.

She casually handed the bowl back to a frowning Chloe.

"Have you seen Clark?" Lois asked with a careless glance about the front yard. Shelby sat excitedly by her side, leaning into her and trying to land a lick on her cheek. Lois was quick and narrowly avoided the doggy kiss but still sneezed for all of her effort. Still, she didn't have the heart to push Shelby away from her.

"Allergies," Lois explained, not understanding Chloe's look of curiosity. "I'm going to go give this guy a B-A-T-H with that new allergy S-H-A-M-P-O," she continued and stood up, sneezing again.

"It has two O's," a deep voice said from the left.

"Thanks for the spell-check, Smallville," Lois said sarcastically but unable to hide the happy glint in her eye. No matter what she tried to deny, no matter how many times she tried picking fights with him, Chloe knew the truth. Lois Lane cared for Clark Kent more than she would like to admit.

"Sorry Lois," Clark said with a smile, obviously not sorry in the slightest.

"You can make it up to me by helping me with the 'you know what' for the 'you know who'…come on, Shelby," she slapped a hand to her thigh to get the dog to follow her. Shelby gave a quick glance in Chloe's direction before trotting off alongside Lois with Clark trailing right behind.

"He works fast," Chloe mused from her seated position. The dog was good. Already he had them in the same room together and laughing. It had taken her weeks to manage even that. She stood and went into the barn slowly, as to not disturb what Shelby had already accomplished. Lois sneezed once again as she tried to get the dog into the now-filled tub and shot a glare in Clark's direction as he just stood off to the side laughing.

"A little help here!" she ordered, splashing water in his direction as Clark only smiled.

"Come on, Shelby," Lois tried to reason with the mutt softly to no avail.

Sneeze.

"If you don't get this bath then we can't hang out anymore."

Sneeze.

"You wouldn't want that would you?"

Sneeze.

"I didn't think so," Lois finished happily, pinching her nose. Shelby had stopped fighting and now stood stoically in the tub. "See, we don't need you," she stated with another frown in Clark's direction.

"Oh, you don't?" he asked with a frown of his own, moving forward to kneel by her side.

_What is going on in there?_ Chloe thought, barely refraining from allowing a happy squeal to escape from her hiding place.

"Nope," Lois teased, smiling up at him and blowing her bangs out of her face as she started to lather Shelby's fur with shampoo. Clark took pity on her and raised a hand to gently move said bangs out of her eyes.

"Thanks," she muttered, focusing more intently at the task at hand. Clark moved closer to the tub and began to scrub the shampoo in as well.

"I wonder how this allergy medicine shampoo works anyway," he mused, scratching Shelby's ears. "Good boy."

"Beats me," she answered back and began to wash the shampoo off with a pitcher of water. "All I know is that I don't sneeze, and that's all I care about."

"Us too," Clark agreed with a serious nod. Shelby added a bark in agreement.

"Oh yeah? And why's that?" Lois asked, slightly distracted but curious, dumping more water onto the still-sudsy pooch.

"Well, if you sneezed all of the time, then you wouldn't come over as much," Clark rationalized softly, looking away from her. Lois stopped what she was doing and looked over at him, slightly astounded. He finished washing Shelby off and stood up quickly, moving to get a towel and all the while avoiding her eyes. Shelby managed to steal a kiss to her cheek and then nudged her a little before she stood to meet Clark halfway. She gently took the towel from his hands and moved to block his path.

"I'd like to see you try and keep me away," she told him, surprising them both. His eyes finally met hers with a vulnerability she never wanted to see in him again.

_Kiss already!_ Chloe silently commanded, and just as they both leaned toward each other, she thought they just might. That is, until Shelby couldn't hold back anymore, shivering from the water soaking his fur and finally let out a mighty shake, spewing water all over them.

"Shelby!" Lois laughed, holding up her arm to block the rest of the water coming at her.

"Sorry boy," Clark responded and snatched the towel away from Lois in order to dry him off. Shelby jumped out of the tub when Clark was done and glanced over in the direction where he could smell Chloe standing in her hiding spot. He watched as she narrowed her eyes and huffed away. Lois had also seen her cousin and frowned slightly in bewilderment.

"Chloe! Where are you headed?" She called out, watching in astonishment as Chloe twirled around and narrowed her eyes.

"To the bars."

"What?"

"And then probably the bridge, if Martha Kent does not contact me before 7 p.m."

"Excuse me?" Lois was worried for her well-being, and she had reason to be so.

"I'll deal with you later," Chloe stated firmly in Shelby's direction, and the dog raised a paw, letting out a little whine in apology.

"GAH!"

And with that, Chloe took off in her car before Lois could even make a move to stop her.

"What the hell just happened?" she asked Clark, who looked just as concerned.

"I don't know."

"You tell your mom to give Chloe a call, and I'm going to get in touch with Lucy and have her find Chloe. They seem to be hanging out a lot lately."

Clark nodded in agreement, slowly reaching out to let his fingers graze hers tenderly in goodbye. Lois allowed the contact before going to retrieve her cellphone.

"What's going on buddy?" Clark muttered in askance, and Shelby licked his hand before giving chase to Lois.

The dog had the right idea.

* * *

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	6. A Little Unexpected Help From An Enemy

Here's the next bit.

Like usual let me know if you read it, looked at it, scoffed, squealed, you know.

* * *

Phase 5: A Little Unexpected Help from an Enemy

* * *

"So, since Lucy's plan failed and Shelby gave his all, I propose that Martha should present a plan of her own," Chloe proclaimed regally as she took a seat next to her accomplices on the park bench.

Martha worried her lip slightly and looked heavenward for some help. She didn't have the slightest idea of what to do. She had been thinking of nothing else for a week now, and she still didn't have a clue. Chloe's annoying habit of poking her head in open doors at odd moments probably didn't help matters. It was actually making her more nervous.

Chloe narrowed her eyes at the older woman suspiciously. She kept putting her off whenever she asked about the plan. Chloe had a feeling that Martha hadn't even come up with one. She also had a feeling that Martha had a feeling that she had a feeling that Martha didn't have one. Chloe frowned trying to makes sense of that last thought.

"What are they doing?" Lucy exclaimed disbelievingly with a nod in the direction of the local store. Lois and Clark were rushing out the door in a weaving to-and-fro sprint. All of a sudden a man, a very pale and scarred man wearing a tuxedo, ran out after them and before they knew what was happening, he began to throw balls of electricity.

"What the hell?"

"When did Lois and Clark become superheroes?" Lucy asked, perplexed as the three of them moved to hide behind the bench they had been sitting on. They all watched in astonishment as Clark was hit and flew through the air in the opposite direction, just as Lois landed a roundhouse kick to the villain's head. She ran to Clark's side and helped him stand before turning ready to fight some more.

"What a team!" Chloe couldn't help but gush, pleased that she had been right about them all along. Lois didn't even need superpowers to keep up.

Chloe was beginning to wonder how this fight would end when the fire hydrant broke and the bad guy was hit with a blast of water. As she cringed and hid her face further behind the bench, she couldn't help but notice that, even with all the sparks, this bad guy was done for, at least for the time being.

Apparently he melts.

Or disappears. She really wasn't sure but it didn't look like he was gone for good. She hesitantly moved from her hiding place to make her way toward the heroes of the day.

They stood staring at each other, looking more than a little befuddled. Lois slowly reached out to touch Clark's arm but as soon as her fingers made contact, she pulled away with a little yelp. Clark watched her movements curiously and then rubbed fiercely at his ears.

"What's going on guys?" Chloe blurted out, and they twirled around to face her.

"Did you see that guy? He just started attacking us for no reason!" Lois exclaimed, glaring at the spot where their attacker used to be. She then turned her attention towards Clark and noticed the look he was giving her. She guessed at his meaning and tried to explain further. "Ok, so I kind of took the last carton of Double Brownie Fudge Chocolate Chip ice cream, but to be fair, we already had the cones and syrup for it in the basket. I never would have guessed he had the ability to fling electricity wherever he wanted," she finished almost defensively before Clark interjected.

"Lois stole some ice cream out of his shopping cart and he just started throwing balls of high voltage electricity!" He stated as if Lois hadn't said almost the same thing seconds before.

Soon enough, he noticed that no one had said anything in response and everyone (including his mom?) was giving him a strange look.

"What?" Clark questioned.

"Lois just said that," Lucy supplied.

"I didn't steal the dang ice cream—" Lois began to defend herself once again, but Clark interrupted her as if she hadn't spoken at all.

"No she didn't."

Silence.

"She did?" He doubted himself now when no one moved to reassure him and turned towards Lois.

"Yup," she answered with a nod, but she refrained from saying any more when his mouth dropped open and he gasped.

"What?"

"I can't hear you!"

"Just me?"

"Just her?" Chloe reiterated when Clark said nothing in return.

"I think so," he said, rubbing at his ears once again.

"Great," Lois muttered, throwing her arms in the air.

Chloe didn't blame her cousin for the look she shot towards Clark, not even for the roll of the eyes she cast heavenward moments later. Lois was used to weird things happening in Smallville. Troublesome things like these seemed to follow both of them wherever they went. But when Clark blankly looked at her, wondering what Lois had said, she cursed. Somehow, she always managed to get stuck in the middle of it all.

"This is going to get old really fast."

Martha and Lucy nodded solemnly in reply, probably fearing for Chloe's health and sanity more than the situation at hand.

"So what are we going to do?" Lucy asked cautiously, unsure as to how Chloe was taking this. She noticed that her eye was still twitching, but she looked more curiously perturbed than angry.

Lois seemed to have just the right answer and began a big speech that Clark couldn't hear a word of. She talked with her hands, arms flailing this way and that, and he could only gape as she continued to go on and on while everyone else was nodding in agreement. Finally, tired of being out of the loop, he decided to try and read her lips. Only too late did he realize that it probably wasn't a good idea for him to stare at her mouth for long periods of time. After only a few moments of doing so, he still had no clue as to what she was saying, but instead he had the greatest urge to kiss her. He shot Chloe an exasperated look when he had to urge his body not to move forward and take Lois into his arms.

If Chloe had known what Clark was thinking, she probably wouldn't have decided to help him out. She would have let him suffer until he couldn't take it anymore, until he had to kiss Lois and then her life would be worth living once again.

Away from them.

But Chloe didn't know what he had been thinking, and so she paraphrased for him. "Basically, just wait it out. She said it won't be that bad, and it can't last forever."

Clark merely raised his eyebrows and knew that Lois must have rolled her eyes because Lucy quickly added to it. "That, or we could find the electro guy, wherever he disappeared to, and take him out while he sleeps."

Clark figured that Chloe and Lucy had toned down Lois' speech from the way she had phrased it initially, but it sounded more like one of her mischevious plans, rather than the safer route of waiting it out.

"I think it's wise for us to wait it out, because going after that guy would be too dangerous," he added when he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Lois had opened her mouth. Just because he couldn't hear her didn't mean that he couldn't predict her reactions. He smiled slightly when she closed her mouth and crossed her arms as he continued. "What if it does last forever?"

"Then we find the guy and take him out! Do I have to say it again? Geez, Smallville... get a clue! You can't let everyone else fight your battles for you!" Lois exclaimed, frustrated.

Clark looked at his mother for a translation.

"She disagrees."

"I see."

Lois made a move to reach for Clark, either to turn him fully in her direction or make him leave; they weren't quite sure which. When her hands made contact with his bicep, she jumped back quickly and cursed.

"What is it?" Clark asked, looking at her with concern as she shook her hands, as if to rid them from pain.

"You shocked me!" She spat out, briefly wondering if kicking his shin would make her feel better.

"It seems as though you shock Lois whenever she touches you," Chloe supplied and moved hesitantly to place a finger against his shoulder just in case. She motioned for everyone else to do the same, and it resulted in the same conclusion: no shock of pain.

"Just Lois," Chloe reaffirmed. She couldn't help but think that the situation just got that much more interesting.

"We'll wait it out," Clark said again, frowning when Lois glared at him.

"It won't be that bad," he said, mimicking her (actually Chloe) earlier statement as Lois nursed her still throbbing hands. She finally let her hands drop down and nodded in agreement.

"It's not like I touch you all that much anyway," Lois commented as they turned to walk away. She stopped for a moment when she received no response. "Or it's not like you listen to me all the time either," she muttered and debated landing a quick jab to his shoulder. Deciding against it, she continued to walk by his side.

Chloe wasn't sure if she should be thrilled or worried.

Clark can't hear Lois.

Lois can't touch Clark.

As luck would have it, the rest of the day brightened her outlook on life. She watched Clark and Lois sit on the couch in the Kent household. They were sitting as close to one another as possible without actually physically touching. The look on both of their faces could be described as nothing other than a full-on sulk. They had both been sulking for a good twenty minutes now. It seemed as though Lois did in fact touch Clark more than she thought, and Clark did depend on hearing Lois's voice.

"I miss you," Lois said bravely, unaware of Chloe's lingering presence in the doorway. Chloe wasn't even hiding; she just stood there, torn between savoring this moment or interrupting to tell them that Martha had made sandwiches. Lois had to be completely unaware of her cousin's presence; Chloe wasn't even sure that Lois would have admitted that if Clark (or anyone else) could hear her.

As if Clark had heard her, he reached out a hand to place it over hers, only to stop at a hover only a breath away. He closed his fist with a sigh, and they both folded their arms across their chests and sunk further into the couch.

"This is horrible!" Lois grumbled, wincing as his leg brushed slightly against hers. She wasn't as surprised as she had been the first few times the shock had happened. Now, it just hurt.

"Sorry," Clark mumbled, hating that he hurt her and scooting away. Lois showed that she didn't like that by closing the distance between them, once again careful not to come into contact with him. He looked at her in askance before sighing when he didn't hear her voice respond. Instead, he focused on the steady thumping rhythm that had gotten him through the last twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes.

Her heart.

"If this isn't a 24-hour kind of thing, we're going after that guy," Lois announced dramatically, not caring that he couldn't hear her.

"We'll kill him," Clark muttered in agreement and she looked at him in shock.

"Can you hear me?"

He studied her for a moment, and when it seemed as though she wanted an answer, he shook his head negatively, guessing at her meaning. "I can't hear you, but I figured that you were either cursing the guy or making a plan to go after him — you flail your arms when you're frustrated," he explained with a little smile.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They both slumped into the couch again before springing back up in excitement.

"I heard you!"

Lois reached out slowly, allowing her fingers to lightly brush against his cheek. She grinned at him when there was no pain that followed.

"We're cured!"

"We don't have to go kill the guy!"

At Lois's slightly put-out look, he smiled. "You stole the guy's ice cream, Lois. He got his revenge. We don't have to go after him."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I am?"

"But you have to admit... it would have been fun."

"I guess," he agreed, throwing an arm over her shoulder. Lois allowed herself to lean against him, having missed the contact she had taken for granted before.

"Lois! Clark! I made sandwiches! Oh... it wore off. That's just great," Martha commented happily upon seeing the duo. She turned to look at Chloe, who may as well have been shooting daggers out of her eyes with her glare. Lois and Clark were oblivious as they made their way towards the kitchen for lunch.

"I take it I ruined a moment," Martha stated with a sigh.

Chloe nodded.

"And you want to know where my cooking Sherry is?"

Once again, she nodded.

"Follow me," Martha said with another sigh, leading Chloe towards the kitchen.

* * *

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	7. Dishes

Here's the next part. Let me know what you think!

Thanks to Liz for being great! Woot!

* * *

Phase 7: Dishes

* * *

"Martha Kent, you're slacking!" Chloe spat out, annoyed. "I thought better of you, and I was expecting a lot more. Not even more, but rather, _anything_. You haven't come up with anything!" She proclaimed, slumping heavily onto the couch. She waited impatiently for the older woman to provide an explanation. 

"I invited you to dinner, didn't I?"

"Yes, and the food would have been wonderful I'm sure if I wasn't distracted by _this_," she harshly pointed a finger at her eye, "And _that_," she pointed in the direction of the kitchen where she could still hear Lois and Clark bickering.

"Chloe, maybe you should calm down," Lucy suggested gently, nonchalantly moving the sharp dessert utensils farther away, just in case.

"I'm sorry," Chloe said, actually sounding sincere as she slid further into the cushions.

"I know sweetie, but look, so far you've tried locking them together in the basement…"

"—Storage closet."

"…of the Daily Planet. Then something happened with an elevator…"

"Oh yeah," Chloe remembered with a little laugh.

"And you followed them around everywhere they went."

"Not _everywhere_," Chloe muttered, not liking one bit that she was starting to sound like a psycho or a stalker.

"Lucy tried the whole jealousy angle, which was amusing, but we have to face that all that came from that was a really nice girl getting a black eye."

"Poor Brooke," Lucy added, shaking her head sympathetically.

"I thought I'd try something a little more… simple," Martha finished with a smile as both girls leaned forward slightly in anticipation.

"What?"

"Dishes."

"Dishes?!" Chloe yelled incredulously and leapt off of the couch when Martha nodded. She was about to explode with anger when she realized something very crucial to their operation.

Silence.

For the first time in what seemed like years, there was silence.

Followed closely by a loud crash of what sounded like a dish.

The three women raced toward the doorway of the kitchen, slightly pushing each other when they all tried to fit in the small frame. They watched in astonishment as there, beside the counter, Lois and Clark stood staring at each other intensely over a broken plate. Chloe opened her mouth to say something, but before she could ask what happened, Lois grabbed Clark by the neck and crushed her lips into his.

The onlookers' mouths all dropped open in shock as the duo continued to kiss, more lovingly now than in the first few moments of passion. Lucy squealed in delight and Chloe finally smiled for the first time in what seemed like months.

"Good job, Mrs. Kent," Chloe congratulated, leading the ladies back into the living room. The kiss wasn't as important as the fact that they were kissing. "Who would have thought that after all this time it would just take them doing the dishes?"

"Actually... I was just stalling for time," Martha admitted casually, not realizing what she was saying.

"What?"

"I was still working on my plan — but quite frankly, you're scary. I had to make something up."

"What?" Chloe repeated glaring at Martha.

"It's true — scary," Lucy agreed with a serious nod.

"Chloe, you're driving me crazy!" Lois burst into the room, amazing everyone. They had thought she was quite occupied. She should have been _too _occupied. Either Clark wasn't cutting it, or Lois was frustrated about something. But it couldn't possibly compare to what they've been putting her through!

As if Chloe's thought was his cue, Clark stumbled into the room, still a little dazed, and almost ran into Lois when she stopped.

"Lois wins on being the scariest though," Lucy murmured, and this time Martha agreed with a nod.

"I'm driving you crazy?" Chloe finally managed, silently cursing her twitching eye.

"Yes."

"_I'm_ driving _you _crazy?"

"That's what I said," Lois defiantly replied, moving towards her cousin with her hand laced with Clark's as she pulled him along with behind her.

"Sorry," he mumbled, Lois shot him a weird look that he was clearly supposed to interpret.

"You're fine, Clark," she reassured, but then she pointed an accusing finger at one Chloe Sullivan. "You! _You _on the other hand are not. What I would have given for five minutes alone with this big lug behind me, but everywhere we went—there you were! The movies—"

"You invited me!"

"Ha! That's because you said you wanted to see it so bad but what about the Talon?"

"We were there first and you had plenty of time when you were making brownies alooooone with him before you suspiciously fled the scene!"

"Ha!"

Everyone turned to stare at her. Obviously she could have come up with a better rebuttal, but they didn't understand the situation and circumstances.

"Nothing to say?" Lucy asked curiously and smiled cheekily when her sister zeroed in on her.

"Not that I don't like it that you're here, Luc, and not getting into trouble but, why are you here exactly?"

"I'm just in the right place at the right time."

Lois didn't believe a word of it, but she would not be sidetracked, refocusing her attention back on her insane cousin.

"And then there was the grocery store incident!"

"What do you mean _incident_? I needed laundry detergent!" Chloe answered half-heartedly.

"Right," Lois stated disbelievingly. "And the display of cans just magically toppled over on their own?"

"Well you had plenty of time to sort out your feelings when I locked you in the storage closet!"

"That was you?! What the hell, Chlo? We could have _died_!"

Even Clark raised his brow at the dramatic statement, forcing Lois to roll her eyes and reiterate. "Or we could have at least gotten a cold because of the dang air conditioner... I suspect that was also your doing?"

Clark nodded to lend his support, smiling as he watched Lois interrogate Chloe, who was finally distracted from her annoyance. It didn't seem to matter all that much anymore that these two had driven her crazy for what seemed like years now. It didn't matter that she had come close to drinking herself into a dumb stupor or jamming something sharp in her leg. What mattered was right in front of her, and they were casually holding hands.

They were finally together.

All is right in the world.

Chloe sighed, flopped down onto the couch, and hung her head in her hands. "But how the heck did it happen? How did you two manage to get together _on your own_? Our plans were so thought-out... so thorough..." she trailed off in disbelief and let her head fall between her knees. As much as Chloe liked to believe that she was responsible for Clark and Lois finally being together, she couldn't take full credit — _any_credit really. Something had been going on and she had missed it.

_But what?  
_

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	8. The Reality Of It All

Here's the next part. It's actually really long, especially compared to the others so I hope you enjoy. This is almost over you all. Just one more to go! Leave me a review!

Thanks again to Liz for being wickedly awesome!

* * *

The Reality of It All

* * *

As Lois watched Chloe sit dejectedly on the Kent's living room sofa, she didn't feel the least bit of sympathy. She had done this to herself really. She tried to manage her way into a situation that just didn't need managing; she tried to play spy when she didn't really know what was going on in the first place.

If she had taken the time to look a little more closely, Lois was sure she would have seen through everything. She would have realized that for the past couple of weeks, they had been on the way to something special. If she would have just talked to Clark, he would have told her what he was feeling and that he had been trying to get her alone in order to finally put his feelings out in the open. If Chloe would have opened her eyes for just one moment, she would have noticed how flustered Lois felt about the whole situation.

If she hadn't been so focused on getting them to be a "them", they would have been together weeks ago…

* * *

Chloe had been acting really weird lately. Not just weird, but kind of insane. It was enough to make someone want to move all of the sharp objects in one's apartment to safe and secure locations. And just because Lois felt the need to do so, it didn't mean that she was a bad cousin. It was for Chloe's well being and health, after all. She should be given an award for being such a great cousin!

"Lois... where are you?" Clark asked curiously, pushing the box of knives and forks they had collected under his bed.

"Pluto," she said simply. "I hear it's not even a planet—I feel incomplete."

Lois smiled at Clark's hearty laugh, and then she got back to thinking about her crazy cousin.

So what if she had felt it necessary to do the same at the Kent farm? Everyone would just have to deal with sporks until she figured this whole thing out. She had tested their strength on Clark and the spork had broken right away. But even those sporks were still iffy. Sure, they were round and plastic, but they still had those sharp prongs on the end.

"They _should _work," she mumbled to herself. Clark ignored her; he had come to the conclusion Lois talked to herself a lot, and most of the time, she wasn't really looking for an answer. This seemed like one of those times. With a little laugh that barely drew her attention, he tossed another spoon-fork-thing (that Lois had insisted were called "sporks") into the pile.

Lois just hoped she had brought enough sporks to last them for a while. The people in the fast food place had looked at her and Clark bewildered as the two of them filled a back pack with the things, but they didn't know! They didn't understand the need. They hadn't seen the way Chloe had looked after the movie.

"Deranged" was the closest word she could come up with on short notice, but "words" weren't really her thing. Clark assured her that it worked perfectly.

It's not as if they had invited her to the movies! She had kind of forced her way in, and they had reluctantly agreed. The truth of the matter is that Clark and Lois had made it somewhat of a routine to go to the movies on Sunday nights. Why Sundays? They weren't really sure. It had just come about on its own. They had been griping about the next day being a Monday and decided that they should make Sunday last as long as possible.

But Chloe hadn't ever been before! She had just managed to force her way in on "their" night, not that it had to be just her and Clark; anyone could come if they wanted to. It's not like it was a date or anything or that they wanted to be alone…they just liked to be…alone.

"Oh great," Lois muttered, rolling her eyes. Even her subconscious was arguing with her. So she liked spending time with Clark. What was the big deal?

"What was that?"

"Oh great," she answered honestly, snatching up the barbeque skewers and leaning across his thighs to drop it into the box he had just hidden under the bed.

"I still can't believe we got locked in that storage closet!" Clark exclaimed, still confused about the whole situation. One moment he had been helping Lois, trying to convince her to drop into his arms, and in the next instant, the door had slammed closed.

Of course, that did cause her to drop, and in return he was allowed to hold her in his arms for a few brief moments, but it didn't last as long as he would have preferred. He had reluctantly relinquished his hold on her (but only slightly) and had then allowed her to slide down his body, his hands still about her waist.

_"Are you ok?"_

_"Nice catch,"_ she had said with a smirk before zeroing in on the door. In an instant, he witnessed her eyes change from soft and light-hearted to hard and determined. It was then that the air conditioner turned on.

_"Here,"_ he said, trying immediately to give her his jacket when he saw her shiver from the blast of cold air coming from the vent.

_"It's ok."_

_"Take it,"_ he tried again, thrusting it into her hands. She glared back at him and threw it back at his chest.

_"I said I'm fine."_

_"No, you said 'it's ok', and it's obviously _not_ because I can tell that you're cold."_

_"So what if I am? Is that a good reason for you to be cold instead? I don't think so! I don't want your dumb jacket,"_ she stated firmly, once again pushing the offending piece of clothing at him before sticking her hands into her pockets.

_"Lo-is,"_ he drew out her name making it four syllables instead of the regular two.

_"Cl-ark,"_ she mimicked but shot him a smile. _"I'm fine."_

He just gave her a look.

_"Look, pencils!"_ she exclaimed, ignoring him and his puppy dog face entirely.

_"What, do you want to write out your will?"_ he joked, not understanding her excitement over the writing utensil.

_"Yeah, Clark; that's what I want to do. I figure we're going to die in here, you know, because Chloe has no idea that we're here — even though we were just talking to her five minutes ago. We'll probably get hypothermia first — because of the air conditioner — but maybe if we huddle together, we can conserve any of the heat we have left." _

He recognized the sarcasm in her tone (he had known her long enough now to be able to detect it), but when she shivered once again, he thought about taking her up on her faux offer.

She got to work on the door almost immediately, obviously loving a challenge. Too bad she didn't know that if he wanted to, he could twist off the handle in an instant and have them out of there in less than a second.

_Well... maybe I could help her out a little anyway,_ he thought with a shrug, knocking over a can of trash to distracther while he aimed his heat vision at the hinges. She looked over at the overturned can and then up at him strangely before turning to the door once again, finally shoving the last pencil in the door jam to her satisfaction. The door simply fell away, leaving a small opening for them to climb through. Lois turned to him with a smug smile before heading back to Chloe's desk and shooting the door another bewildered look. Apparently, she realized that it hadn't happened quite as she expected it to.

Chloe had seemed off there as well. Not her usual self.

"I can't believe Chloe didn't even seem to care! And then she went off chasing that poor stock boy! It wasn't his fault the door slammed closed on us," Lois added, breaking Clark from his reminiscing.

"She did seem out of it," Clark supplied, ready for a tangent.

"Not as weird as in the grocery store! Claiming that the outfit was because it was laundry day when I know_perfectly _well that her laundry clothes are those ratty old jeans with the holes in the knees and that burgundy long-sleeved Rugby shirt she got from who knows where."

"That does make a difference."

"She was lying." It came out as almost a growl, and Clark barely refrained from giving in to his laughter. Instead, he quickly grasped her hands in his own and lightly pulled her to her feet.

"Maybe we should hide the liquor as well?" Clark suggested semi-seriously in order to soothe her. Like Lois, he had noticed how strange Chloe had been acting. He had also heard her mutter something about taking eight shots of vodka at least once.

"Good plan. You do that here, and I'm going to head to the Talon a little later. We could meet up in an hour," she suggested without realizing it. It didn't even cross her mind that maybe Clark didn't want to meet her.

He did.

The fact of the matter is that she was so used to his company, his presence, that she didn't think twice about not meeting up with him.

"It's not going to take me an hour to hide my mother's cooking sherry, Lois," Clark said dryly as she patted his arm and moved towards the door. He had the strongest urge to grab her arm, twirling her around to meet him, and just hug her. He wanted to feel her in his arms as she tightly held onto him as well.

"I'll see you in an hour."

And then she was gone. Like a whirlwind: there one minute and gone the next. Clark sighed gently and headed towards the kitchen. He had finally decided to let her in on his feelings for her, and she didn't even have the decency to stick around long enough for him to start up the conversation.

It's not like he could tell her while they were ransacking fast food places for foons (he thought that had a better ring than sporks—Lois had called him a foon when he had informed her so) or in the grocery store, even though it had crossed his mind and he had been just about to do so when Lois noticed Chloe. To be fair, Lois had noticed Chloe before the display of cans toppled over; she just hadn't cared that she was being followed by a loon. He grimaced as he realized that maybe Lois was right; foon was too close to other derogatory words.

They had been arguing about brownies, even though he wasn't quite sure why he even tried to argue with Lois over chocolate anymore. He knew better than to think he might actually win that battle. It would be pointless to continue to try.

Before he knew what was happening, Lois had stepped even closer to him and had placed a hand on his chest. If there had been any moment in time that Clark had just wanted to kiss her and never let her go, that had certainly been the most obvious. He actually lowered his head to begin the rest of his life when Chloe had knocked over the soup. He didn't know whether to thank her or strangle her. The grocery store may not have been the wisest place to kiss Lois for the first time, but he had finally been prepared to face the consequences of that action.

What he was most afraid of was her reaction. Would she feel the same way? Does she feel the little spark in the pit of her stomach whenever they are near? Would she even recognize it for what it is? He liked to think that she did have feelings for him and that she hasn't just slipped into this easy acceptance of companionship.

Clark was afraid to find out.

_The trick is luring the mind into a false sense of security,_ he mused an hour later as he finished making the salad he was taking to the Talon for her before speeding off for their meeting. If he convinced himself that this was just some ordinary day that wasn't going to change his life forever, then he needn't worry about anything.

"Oh God," he gasped, trying to get his breathing under control. Maybe he could just ask her to see a movie. It wasn't a Sunday—that would throw her off. She'd get all cute and flustered and not know what to do. It would be fun just to see that. Or he could invite her over for dinner—but then again she normally came for dinner anyway. Sometimes she even got there before he did.

"Flowers," he thought aloud as he stepped into the Talon and then shook his head, disregarding that idea. That would just confuse her if he showed up with a bundle of flowers.

Then he thought of the brownie mix she had shoved into his life. He hadn't made them yet; he would, of course, but maybe this could be the perfect opportunity for him to finally be alone with Lois in a situation that wouldn't scare her away. The lure of chocolate would be too tempting for her to pass up.

"Clark!" he heard her call out from across the room. He smiled and made his way over to the table. His mother and Lucy were giving Chloe pitying looks as he squeezed his large frame into the booth beside Lois. At first, he had thought to bring a chair over, but he didn't give it another single thought as his thigh touched hers. He was right where he wanted to be.

"What's everyone doing?"

"Plotting," Lucy answered as she looked sympathetically over at Chloe, causing Clark to shoot a baffled look around the table before raising a brow and looking to Lois for clarification. She merely raised her hands, non-committal. "I have done no plotting what-so-ever, but I might start if these three keep acting so strange—Look at Chloe's left eye!" she ordered, and Clark leaned over her to take a peek.

"Was that a twitch?"

"Yes!"

"'Twitching eyes happen, guys; it's not that big of a deal," Lucy pointed out.

Lois didn't reply but decided to drop the topic for the moment. There were more important things to consider.

"So what are you guys plotting?" She asked instead — intrigued — and leaned her elbows on the table to rest her chin onto her palms. Maybe this had something to do with why Chloe had been acting so weird; _so _weird that Lois deemed it necessary to hide any sharp utensil she could find.

Lois caught her cousin eyeing her fork warily. Just as Chloe was contemplating how sharp the edges were, Lois snatched it up and began to attack the salad that Clark had brought with him. He made no move to stop her. She made sure to push the olives over to his side, and she smiled happily when she didn't even have to consider stealing his tomatoes, as he happily relinquished them over to her. He was crazy for not liking tomatoes, but his loss was her gain. She did wonder, though, why he added tomatoes to a salad if he didn't even like the things. It made no sense to her.

"So... did you bring them?" Lois asked conversationally over a crouton.

"Does it look like I brought anything, Lois?" Clark retorted, grunting slightly when she elbowed him.

"It looks like you brought salad," she said smartly. "So where's dessert?"

Clark grinned and kept silent, causing Lois to glare.

"If you want brownies, you have to make them yourself," he finally explained.

Did Clark have a death wish?

"You're joking, right?" Lucy asked skeptically, knowing first hand that if she wanted a meal, she shouldn't count on her older sister to provide an edible one, unless it was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Lois couldn't help but agree with her sister. Everyone knew that she couldn't cook. It didn't mean she liked having the fact rubbed in her face.

"If I would have known you were going to be dumb about it, I would have gotten the already-made box," Lois explained with a frown and a steel glint in her eye as she pushed him out of the booth so she could leave, the salad now forgotten.

"I'll help you," Clark reassured, but all four women didn't look even slightly at ease. "We'll go make the brownies right now," he stated, trying to appease Lois. Surprisingly, it worked and Lois took his arm to lead him out the doors. Lois contemplated how she was going to get out of actually touching the oven, but she knew she'd find a way during the short trip to the farm.

* * *

"Lois, can you set the oven temperature?" Clark stated as he stared at the ingredients in front of him without even looking up at her.

"Sure—500 degrees right?" She asked cheekily and moved to the foreign — at least to her — object. She was pretty sure the dang thing was made in America.

"Yeah," he agreed, not paying her the slightest attention as she stared at the kitchen appliance in contemplation.

"Ok."

Lois stared at the unfamiliar buttons as if willing them to move on their own. She had been joking about setting it to 500, but that didn't mean she knew the actual temperature or even how to set it. Reaching out hesitantly, she tried to turn a knob that looked promising.

It didn't budge.

"This is stupid!" She exclaimed when she tried again, and Clark finally focused his attention on her.

"What?"

"You making me help you cook."

"You need to learn sometime."

"I don't see why."

"Do you eat?"

She gave him a look that he took to mean he was being dumb, and so he continued.

"Do you like to eat?"

"No," she said smartly with a smirk, jumping up to sit on the counter. She watched as, not realizing what he was doing, he moved to the stove and set it for 375 by pushing the knob in and turning it.

_You have to push it in first ,Lo'_, she thought, rolling her eyes.

"Well, you have to know how to cook if you want to eat Lois."

"I've survived so far."

"On PB and Js?" he asked. Her stomach fluttered as he smiled at her, but she pushed the feeling aside, writing it off as him just being really hungry for brownies.

"Take-out," she retorted as he started setting out ingredients. He raised a brow and moved in her direction, again placing a bowl beside her.

"Plus, I have you to cook for me," she blurted out without realizing the context of what she was admitting.

"What if I'm not around?" Clark replied softly, his voice taking on a husky quality that she wasn't too sure she liked because of the effect it had on her.

"You'll always be around," she said, so sure of herself as she then looked up to hesitantly meet his soft eyes. "Right?"

It wasn't about cooking anymore. Somehow, they had moved from that safe topic to this, and she wasn't quite sure she was ready for—whatever it was.

"I'm always around," he agreed and set his hand over hers in comfort.

Lois couldn't help but return the squeeze to his fingers, but when he leaned in coming closer to her, she leapt off the counter and ran out the door without even a goodbye, leaving Clark gaping slightly.

_He was going to kiss me,_ she thought frantically, hurrying her stride towards her car.

_He was going to kiss me and now I'm running away,_ she thought again with a sad frown.

_Why am I running away? _

She stopped half way to her car and sent a wistful look back at the farm before shaking her head and continuing on.

_We'll talk later,_ she promised herself, _When I have the chance to sort everything out in my head. _

"What's up Lo'?" Chloe called out as she got out of her car. Lois's brisk stride halted and she glanced over her shoulder surprised.

"What?" she asked, nervously crossing her arms.

"Are you okay?" Chloe asked actually concerned.

"Why wouldn't I be ok? I just realized that I need to go because... well, because I have someplace to be," Lois forced out quickly, looking slightly bewildered and frustrated with herself and Clark. _Why did he have to change things?_

"Right. The place. I guess you better hurry up Lo'," Chloe said, and Lois nodded before quickly fleeing the scene.

"Lois?" Clark called out from the doorway and frowned as she peeled out, leaving Chloe behind in a cloud of dirt.

"Where'd she go?" He asked quickly.

"She had to be some place," Chloe answered quickly, coughing to clear the dust from her lungs.

"Oh."

"What the heck happened Clark?"

"I'm not all that sure," he answered honestly, allowing his shoulders to slump slightly before he visibly straightened and set his chin. "I'll talk to you later."

And then he super sped away. He wasn't exactly sure what had just happened, but he was determined to get her to talk to him.

After waiting at her apartment for fifteen minutes, he finally found her at the grocery store, of all places. They seem to go there a lot more than other average people. He eyed her basket curiously, not even batting an eye at the contents, or the fact that he could Lois muttering to herself. As she added another Hostess item to the cookie dough, chocolate chips, Oreos and peanut butter, Clark decided now was as good a time as any to make her aware of his presence.

"Hi."

She almost threw the hand basket onto a shelf before Clark managed to grasp the handles and set it calmly on the floor.

"What, are you following me now?" Lois asked, wincing at how harsh her voice sounded. She was embarrassed by her actions, but that didn't make it ok to lash out at him.

"You don't want me with you?"

"Of course I do, you're my best friend Clark."

Friend.

_It was honest enough,_ he thought with an inner grimace. Maybe she wasn't feeling what he was. Maybe he was crazy to think she ever could. Maybe he had to settle with being her best friend. He didn't think he was strong enough to let her go if she didn't return his feelings.

"You forgot your purse thingy," he said softly in response, handing it over.

"Oh. Thanks," Lois said, feeling small and stupid. He had gone out of his way to find her, brought her purse to her, and the only words she could find in her jumbled brain to say to him were either harsh or 'friend'. He was her best friend, but he was also so much more.

"No problem."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"The movies?" Lois couldn't hide her uncertainty.

Sunday.

"Yeah," he agreed with a little smile that she instantly returned. "Tomorrow."

Before she could say anything else, he was gone, and she felt the need to slam her head against a wall. She had wanted to call him back, had wanted to kiss him, had just wanted him to stay by her side, and for that reason alone, she found the strength to let him go. Now it was time to go and sulk in her pile of junk food and watch talk shows.

And if Chloe was around, she couldn't be held liable for any sort of homicidal tendencies. If it wasn't for her barging in on them the last time they were in the supermarket, she was sure that Clark would have kissed her. And she would have let him. Then this whole mess wouldn't be happening and she wouldn't be this afraid.

Chloe had better watch out.

* * *

_I don't know how I let him talk me into things like this,_ Lois thought darkly as she looked for directions on the carton of sugar. How the heck was she supposed to know how to make cotton candy? She eyed the machine dubiously before shrugging, and then she began to add sugar little by little. As soon as he stepped up behind her to guide her hand, her pulse started to beat a faster rhythm. She could feel the heat of his body at her back and didn't want to move away. As he forced her to dump the entire content of sugar into the machine, she tried to focus her glare on him but was drawn instead to his lips. Trying to avoid those for now, she managed to glance down only then noticing that he was only in his swimming trunks.

Great.

This was all she needed: a day of staring at Clark's body._Actually, _she cocked her head slightly to the side, _who am I to complain?_

Only moments later, Lois's smile was smug as she held out the first stick of cotton candy that she had made all by herself. The smile quickly turned into a frown, however, as the boy didn't take it. Thrusting it at him, she glared as he snatched it away and ran to the lake.

"Why that little…" she trailed off and thought about chasing after him. He hadn't even paid for the damn thing! As soon as she made her decision and moved to begin her sprint, she froze. Reaching up to swipe away the sugary mess on her cheek, she turned her frustration to the culprit. Lunging at Clark, she managed to snatch away his weapon and shove it in his face before he wrapped his arms, around her halting any of her next movements.

"This isn't really fair," she complained when her arms wouldn't budge.

"Who said anything about life being fair?"

"Larry — he's a very reliable source," she began seriously, ending with a laugh as Clark picked her up. Her arms were still trapped beneath his larger ones, her fingers still grasping the stick of cotton candy as her feet dangled. "Clark!"

"What?" he asked mischievously, giving her a wet sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"Gross," she said half-heartedly, but she laughed again and struggled against Clark's grip. He finally relinquished his hold on her, but she didn't step away. Instead, she leaned further into him and smiled.

"Excuse me," a feminine voice interrupted, and Lois just barely managed to hold in a groan. Were they ever going to get it right? Apparently she needed a public place, surrounded by annoying people, to allow herself to get close to him.

"What?" she bit out aggravated, more with herself than with the blonde standing in front of them. Said blonde sent Clark a sultry look, and Lois intensified her glare as he leaned in to her, almost afraid of the other woman. Lois stuck out a stick of cotton candy harshly, but the blonde refused to take it.

"It's not good for the figure, you know," the blonde refused the offer and casually trailed a finger down Clark's arm.

"I'll give you something else that's not good for the figure," Lois muttered loudly, and Brooke just stared, unsure of how to react before throwing her head back in laughter. Lois looked at her as if she was crazy, but she fumed when Brooke turned once again towards Clark and asked for his phone number. He only stuttered, and Lois rolled her eyes and helped the guy out.

"867-5309."

"Thanks doll."

"But—"

"Not a problem," Lois cut him off before he could mention that that was a song and not his real number. He understood the look she shot him and nodded in thanks.

When the "bimbo" tried to take his arm and lead him away from the booth, and away from _her_, Lois shot Chloe a look in warning. She really couldn't be held responsible for anything she might do next.

Lois didn't care for poachers. What moron couldn't see that they were in the middle of flirting here? She gave Clark a firm shove from behind, causing him to trip over his own feet and fall in to Brooke, who in turn fell into the line of customers that had been waiting impatiently behind her.

Lois stood over the groaning dog pile of people victoriously and then, motioned forward by her conscience, she moved forward to help Clark up, for it really wasn't the poor guys fault. She then held out a hand to Brooke, which was accepted almost immediately, if not warily. Lois cringed slightly at the shiner already showing on the other woman's face; she must have gotten hit with an elbow, and Lois was contemplating apologizing when Chloe, Martha, and Lucy rushed towards them.

"Just go for it," Brooke stated cryptically with a smile, shocking Lois, and then she spun around to head in the direction of a worried blonde man.

"What?" Clark asked, rubbing at the back of his neck. Lois and watched the man casually toss an arm around Brooke's shoulder and walk off. Her brow furrowed slightly before she gave a disbelieving smirk and turned to look up at Clark.

"Come on," she stated pulling at his arm and he just allowed her to lead him back to the booth a few feet away. "Who's next?" she asked happily as Clark took orders for her and began to gather the candy while she took money.

_Maybe I should just go for it,_ she thought with a little smile, pursing her lips.

* * *

It had been one of the worst days of her life, Lois thought grumpily and plopped down onto the couch as close to Clark as she could handle. Who would have thought that a simple craving for ice cream and Clark's company would result in this? She had figured that they could rent a movie or something and then she would just jump him! – or admit that her feelings for him were stronger than anything she had ever felt before, and _then _she could jump him! But no, the electricity guy had to throw a fit just because she took his carton of ice cream and make it so she couldn't even touch Clark without getting a painful shock.

She sent him a wistful look and opened her mouth to say something before realizing it would be pointless. He couldn't hear her, no matter how loud she talked. She had tried various octaves just in case.

They had spent the entire day wishing these "symptoms" of getting hit with bursts of electricity would fade. In that time, she plotted various ways to track the guy down and kill him, or at least make him suffer a little, depending on whether or not this not-being-able-to-touch-Clark thing wore off.

"I miss you," Lois said bravely, not really knowing where it came from. Even though they had been together for almost a complete day, she still felt lost somehow. Maybe it was easier for her to admit it now that he couldn't hear her. She wanted to tell him everything she was feeling. She couldn't even remember why she had been running away from him for so long. He would always be her best friend no matter what happened between them, but she also knew that she would always feel this strong connection to him, this _need _to be with him, to touch him whenever she wanted, come home to him.

As if Clark had heard her, he reached out a hand to place it over hers, only to stop at a hover only a breath away. He closed his fist with a sigh, and they both folded their arms across their chests and sunk further into the couch.

"This is horrible!" Lois grumbled, wincing as their legs brushed slightly. She wasn't as surprised as she had been the first few times the shock had happened. Now it just hurt.

"Sorry," Clark mumbled, hating that he hurt her and scooting away. Lois didn't like that, and she closed the distance between them once again, careful not to come into contact with him. He looked at her in askance before sighing when he didn't hear her voice respond. Instead, he focused on the steady thumping rhythm that had gotten him through the twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes.

Her heart.

"If this isn't a 24-hour kind of thing, we're going after the guy," Lois announced dramatically, not caring that he couldn't hear. She was merely stating a fact.

"We'll kill him," Clark muttered in agreement, and she looked at him in shock. "What?"

"Can you hear me?"

He studied her for a moment, and when it seemed as though she wanted an answer, he shook his head negatively, guessing at her meaning. "No, but I figured that you were either cursing the guy or making a plan to go after him — you flail your arms when you're frustrated," he explained with a little smile.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They both slumped into the couch again before springing back up in excitement.

"I heard you!"

Lois reached out slowly, allowing her fingers to lightly brush his cheek before grinning back when there was no pain that followed.

"We're cured!"

"We don't have to go kill the guy!"

At Lois's slightly put-out look, he grinned. "You stole the guy's ice cream, Lois. He got his revenge. We don't have to go after him."

"Yeah... I guess you're right."

"I am?"

"But it would have been fun."

"I guess," he agreed, throwing an arm over her shoulder. Lois allowed herself to lean against him, having missed the contact she had taken for granted before. Now wasn't exactly the right time to tell him that she was tired of running from them, but as she opened her mouth to do just that, she was interrupted once again.

"Lois! Clark! I made sandwiches! Oh... it wore off now! That's just great," Martha commented happily upon seeing the duo. Turning to go back into the kitchen, she almost ran into Chloe, who was now glaring daggers at her.

_Oh well. I'm sure there will be time to tell him after sandwiches,_ Lois mused as her stomach growled.

* * *

"Dinner was good," Lois said, trying to be conversational.

"Yeah, it usually is when my mom does the cooking. Although it was kind off impossible to eat with a spork," he answered back cheekilym, bumping into her lightly.

"Yeah," she agreed, completely unaware of the playful push he had given her. Instead, she focused on drying the plates he washed.

"Are you ok?" Clark failed to keep the worry out of his voice. She hadn't been herself all day, had hardly talked at all during dinner, and now she seemed to be lost in her own universe. He only hoped that she wasn't sick or tired of his company. He had come to rely on hers so much. Being with her made him happy; it was as simple and complex as that.

"What?"

"Are you ok? I could finish these up," he offered, reaching for the plate she was holding when she finally looked up at him.

"No, I'm fine," she argued, pulling the plate back. She stared down at his hand when he didn't let go before glancing up into his eyes once again. She could only describe the feeling as finally coming home. The moment she had first gazed into his eyes she was lost, but now she couldn't help but think that she was finally found. She had finally found where she belonged.

Right here with him.

"Are you ever going to kiss me?" she blurted out, surprising even herself. She had the urge to reach over, grasp his shirt, and crush her lips into his, but for some reason she thought it would make it more real if he took that first step. She had been pushing him away long enough.

His fingers went slack; never in his life would he have expected those words to come out of her mouth. He had only hoped. Now, as the plate slipped away from them both, crashing onto the floor, he could do nothing but comply with her request.

He moved too slowly, however, to satisfy Lois's needs. So she did what just moments before she had decided not to do: grabbed Clark by the neck and crushed her lips into his.

As the kiss continued and Clark pulled her more tightly against him, it transformed from being passionate to loving in a matter of moments. Sighing against his mouth, Lois couldn't help but smile.

They were finally together, and she couldn't really recall why she had been so afraid. Moving her hands into his hair, she decided that it didn't really matter anymore.

* * *

Leave a review because it makes me really happy! 


	9. Epilogue

Well this is the end folks! Sorry it took me so long to get this epilogue out. I hope you enjoy it.

Special thanks to Liz for beta(ing) this sucka and putting up with me.

Since there are no more parts left after this one this is your last chance to leave a review--ok so, technically there's still time in the future (this story will still be around--just finished) for you to review but let me know what you think anyway!

* * *

Epilogue

* * *

A sigh. 

A not-so-subtle glance.

Chloe growled in the back of her throat as they argued over a bowl of popcorn. Martha and Lucy looked at her sympathetically before focusing once more on the movie.

She had been a fool to think that things would change once Lois and Clark finally got together.

She had been delusional.

_They still flirt, even more so now,_ Chloe thought, stomping her way to the kitchen.

_They still banter and fight_, she silently added, rolling her eyes and throwing a cupboard door open.

The unresolved sexual tension still lay thick in every room they entered, but she could just lock them in another closet and they'd get the hint and fix that themselves. Chloe shrugged at her thought and made her way back into the living room after finding what she was looking for.

Everyone watched her as she grabbed the large bowl that Lois had been trying to pull away from Clark and messily dumped equal portions into two new bowls before thrusting them at the bewildered couple and reclaiming her seat.

She smiled as she tossed a piece of popcorn into her mouth and stared at the TV, oblivious to everyone's gaping mouth. She took a dainty sip of her root beer and sighed.

Chloe figured she could handle anything…

* * *

Lucy smirked as Lois stood and snatched the big bowl back out of her cousin's hands before replacing it with the dinky bowl, only offering a challenging smile in return. Chloe glared back at her, but Lucy could see through the steel glint of fury. Behind the anger and frustration was an intense happiness that was even more apparent as she watched Lois snuggle back into Clark's side.

It had been a good idea to come back to Smallville.

Chloe couldn't have survived this experience alone and it had been completely worth it, after witnessing the outcome of Operation: Pain in My Side — ok, so technically it did more damage than anything else, but at least Lois and Clark were together now and she was around to see it.

Lucy figured she should stick around for at least a little while longer, just to make sure that things stay perfect and that Lois doesn't do anything to screw it up.

At that moment, she watched as Lois laced her fingers through Clark's and leaned into him to place a delicate kiss on his jaw.

_Then again,_ Lucy thought with a bright smile,_maybe Lois has everything figured out for herself._

* * *

Martha eyed the couple happily and all but sighed in relief when she realized that Chloe's plan hadn't backfired completely. Though it did stall them for a bit, Lois and Clark still found their way to each other.

And it looked like crazy Chloe was gone — somewhat gone — well, at least the eye twitch was gone. As a precaution, Lois and Clark had informed her of their decision to keep the sharp utensils hidden, and Martha couldn't help but agree that maybe they should stay that way for at least a little while longer…just in case.

* * *

_Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. _

_Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark._

"Achoo! God, Shelbs — do you have to sit right by me?!" Lois complained with a frown, pinching her nose.

_Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. Lois. _

_Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. _

Shelby pushed his way even closer to her side, never once showing signs that he recognized her protests.

"I guess we'll have to give him another bath tomorrow then, Clark... with _extra_ allergy shampoo," Lois said after another sneeze.

_Bath!_

Shelby froze and then focused entirely on Lois giving his best puppy dog eyes.

"It has to be done," she added with a sigh, avoiding the dog's look.

Shelby cocked his head to one side and then to the other when Lois sneezed again before giving a little whine. He moved slowly off of the couch to lie at Clark's feet.

"Good boy," Lois said with a smug smile, reaching across Clark's thighs to give Shelby a quick pat on the head.

* * *

_No matter how much she complains and protests,_ Clark thought, _it's obvious that she loves that dog. _

_Now if only I could get her to admit that she loves me as well,_ he furrowed his brow in thought and smiled as she finally set her empty bowl aside. He would just have to make her crazy about him: so crazy that she never wanted to leave his side.

Lois lost interest in the movie almost as soon as her popcorn was gone, and Clark had wrapped his arm more firmly around her. His body radiated a warmth that acted like a blanket, making her feel safe, secure, and more content in this very moment than she ever remembered feeling. Trembling slightly at the thought, with both fear and happiness for what she was feeling for this farmboy, Lois gently smiled.

Clark shifted and moved to pull the hood of her sweatshirt up to cover her head, obviously mistaking her shivering for being cold. His sock-covered feet moved to cover her bare ones in a further attempt to warm her, causing Lois's smile to widen drastically as she watched him. Allowing his tender attention for a few moments, she snorted when he reached for the blanket draped across the arm of the couch. His eyes immediately sought out hers at the sound of her amusement, and he focused his questioning eyes intently on her twinkling ones.

"Its summer, Clark. It's not like I even have the slightest chance of getting hypothermia," she answered his unspoken question slyly, which caused him to smile at her bashfully. Clark shrugged and lowered his head to kiss her brow, lingering there for a moment more than necessary before focusing on the movie.

Lois couldn't even recall what they had been watching.

She frowned slightly in contemplation, turning to the screen to figure it out, only to stare blankly as Clark's big feet moved slowly over her smaller ones in an unconscious caress.

How was a girl supposed to concentrate with this big lug distracting her? If he kept this up even a few minutes more, she couldn't be held responsible for her actions.

Like jumping him in front of everyone.

Or pushing him off of the couch.

Both had equal appeal at this moment.

His thigh brushed softly against hers and she almost groaned. She couldn't help but stare up at him gapingly when she realized that he didn't have the slightest idea of what he was doing to her.

_Well, two can play at this game,_ she thought wickedly, pushing aside her rational knowledge that he wasn't even aware of said game.

Lois slowly moved the hand that had been resting on his stomach in a small circle, grinning in victory when she heard him inhale sharply. Moving her hand even higher to lightly caress his chest, she couldn't help but marvel at this strong man being hers. She didn't want to focus on that before winning the game, and so she distracted herself with his firm shoulder. Lois trailed her fingers along his bicep, causing his muscles to tense. She could barely conceal her glee as she lightly scratched her fingernails down his forearm, leaving a trail of goose bumps. Finally reaching his hand, her unknown destination this whole time, Lois laced their fingers together tightly before releasing her grip and lightly playing with his fingers.

It had started out as a game to drive Clark just as crazy as he was driving her, but it seemed to have backfired. She drew in a shaky breath, frustrated with herself for getting so worked up. She stood so suddenly that she almost knocked Clark over. Everyone — including Shelby — looked up at her, completely baffled.

"I need a snack!" she announced loudly, shooting Clark a look before striding determinedly into the kitchen. Clark could do nothing but shrug when the others looked to him in askance.

"Didn't she just have popcorn?" Lucy asked, bemused over her sister's apparent appetite.

"And dinner just before that?" Chloe added, a little disgusted. Her own stomach rolled at the thought of more food. It had been a mistake drinking that second root beer.

"Clark _did_make brownies," Martha added to the conversation, enlightening everyone. They all nodded as if that made perfect sense. Lois could never pass up chocolate.

As they turned to the TV once again, Clark shifted slightly already missing the feel of her in his arms. It sounded like Lois was banging together pots in the kitchen, but before he could think to question it further, he turned to see Lois walk even more determined back into the room. Hands on hips, she narrowed her eyes slightly.

"This sort of requires you to follow me, Smallville," she murmured and rolled her eyes when he continued to stare at her in bafflement.

"To get a snack?"

"Yes."

"Brownies?"

"…no."

"Chocolate?"

"Better."

"Oh."

"Exactly," she said when he looked as if he was still confused but might be catching on. They were silent for a few moments, holding their stare, even as Lucy coughed to hide her laughter. Realization finally sparkled into Clark's eyes. Lois had tried to subtly escape the occupants of the living room, tried to get him alone, and he had missed the purpose and intent entirely.

Now Lois figured there was no point in being subtle as everyone had already figured her intention before even Clark and so she marched over and grasped the material of his sweatshirt firmly pulling him along with her. He was grinning like a fool as she all but dragged him into the other room.

As soon as they were alone, Lois was kissing him, and they were oblivious to everything around them, especially the laughter in the other room. He couldn't help but smile into her lips when he realized what she had said before apprehending him. Apparently, Lois had found this to be better than chocolate, and even though the sweet food wasn't nearly as important to him as it was to her, he couldn't help but agree.

She pulled away to look at him with question as he chuckled slightly in the back of his throat. Her eyes held a certain vulnerability and doubt that he never wanted to see again. He wanted her to always be sure of his feelings towards her, never wanted her to doubt that he cared about her more than anyone. Clark raised a hand to trace a finger down her cheek, cradling her jaw in his palm tenderly. She allowed herself to nuzzle his hand slightly in a show of trust that pleased Clark immensely. He leaned into her to brush a tender kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"You make me happy," he said simply when he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. It was all he could say at the moment, the only way he knew how to voice what he was feeling. He couldn't really remember ever being this truly happy and it was all because of her.

Lois's hands had been clutching at his arms, really from the tenderness of his kiss, but after his admission, she moved them to clasp at his neck as if to reassure him that she always would, that he could trust her with his heart, because he held hers captive as well.

"I better, otherwise what the hell are we doing?" she answered back snappily in the only way she knew how to voice what she felt for him.But her smile told him everything he needed to know.

Clark kissed her again as she opened her mouth to say something else. He'd like to think that she would have said something along the lines of 'you make me happy too' or 'I love you', but he knew they had a lifetime together, and he could wait for the words. He figured that before he told her he loved her — and he had realized a long time ago that he did with all of his heart — or before she said something equally important to him, he should probably explain things to her. Let her in on his secrets.

The first, of course, would have to be why they were floating.

* * *

The End

* * *

Leave me a review! I love to hear from everyone--it makes me happy and I write more when I'm happy. Unfortunately, not more of this because that was the end. Yay! 

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